I hope you don’t possess most of these toxic traits!
Filipinos are known for a lot of things and sadly, we are commonly known for having toxic traits. While we may also be known as a country that is friendly, hospitable, and joyful, all of these things are being stepped on by our toxic traits. I mean don’t get me wrong, I am a proud Filipino. But sometimes it’s just sad to see and hear things about how others view us.
I mean having toxic traits does not mean you are a bad person. But it causes us to do things that have negative implications for other people. They won’t help us in life, these traits will only pull us down and may cause us to suffer. A little heavy? Maybe. But we really need to see that our actions have implications. And it’s never too late to change those negative traits and behaviors that we possess. And that includes me of course. So here are some negative traits that we should stop doing!
First trait and I’m already guilty. Also referred to as Filipino Time. When a friend asks you about your whereabouts because you have a scheduled plan and you tell them that you are on the way but the truth is you haven’t even clean up the drool on your chin. When we see meme’s about this, we laugh it out. But the truth is, being late is a negative trait.
Imagine a person waking up 3 hours before the set time and arriving 30 minutes before your meeting. And here you are waking up 1 hour before the set time thinking it’s okay because they will understand. But it’s not okay. You’re simply not giving respect to other people’s time. They made an effort to make sure that they will be able to come on time and you should too. Being late can cause you a lot once you start living in the real world. Now that we are young, we don’t see the essence of time. But as early as now we should be able to remove this trait of thinking they’ll understand if we are late. It’s simply disrespecting other’s time.
The great old mantra, if I can’t have it then neither can you. Crab mentality is one of the major problems in our country. We always try to pull each other down instead of supporting one another. Thinking that they don’t deserve that, or they got lucky or wishing others to fail. We always undermine others to pull ourselves up.
Crab mentality comes in many forms, like being too proud of yourself and looking to others as inferior, blaming others when they fail instead of giving them a hand, rejoicing for other’s failure. This kind of mentality has to stop. It’s just counterproductive. Instead of focusing on others, why not focus on yourself and be better at things. You won’t get anything from wishing others to fail.
Attacking the person and not the argument
This part is specifically for the keyboard warriors out there. Ever seen an argument in a trending comment section and you read a thread wherein two people are getting at it? One is writing well-crafted arguments while the other dude just mocks how that person’s profile picture looks like? Those keyboard warriors or also known as the Ad Hominem folks.
This has been going for quite some time now. And personally, it is annoying. At least be decent enough to argue WHAT the argument is really about. Or maybe just don’t engage with someone if all you’re going to do is attack them. It just shows how some of us are shallow in this day and age I guess. If you are one of these dudes, just continue scrolling and don’t engage in an argument at all. It does not make you look cool or badass.
Invalidating other’s feeling
Invalidation is one of those things that we sometimes do that we are not aware of. Or aware but you still do it anyway. It is when someone shares their experience with you and you respond with, “It could be worse”, or, “At least it’s not (insert another problem).” If we think this brings relief to others, it is not. It makes that person feel that what their feeling is not important.
Not because there are bigger problems than what your friend is going through, does not mean that it’s not huge for them. Invalidating one’s feelings can cause a lot of psychological damage. So the next time your friend talks to you and share what they are going through, just listen. Just simply listen. Just be there for them and show them that you understand what they are going through.
What other toxic traits do you think we should stop?
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