Are you dating someone but still feel like they’re distant, making you feel unworthy or undeserving of love? And do you think that the problem lies within you? Well, STOP THAT RIGHT NOW!
If your partner makes you feel this way, then the problem is most certainly not you! They may be emotionally unavailable at the moment.
Emotional unavailability, as described by Dr. Holly Parker, author of ‘If We’re Together, Why Do I Feel So Alone?’, is the “inability or lack of readiness to build an emotional bond with another.”
It isn’t your fault why a person is like this, if anything else, it may be due to their past experiences or mental illness. So spare yourself the pain of trying to figure out someone who doesn’t want to be figured out.
Here are some reasons why dating an emotionally unavailable person isn’t healthy for you:
You’ll probably end up getting hurt
When it comes to having a relationship with someone, it does not only mean superficially but also mentally and emotionally. You help each other grow into matured individuals while nurturing your relationship. It means you can seek help from one another during difficulties. Your partner should be responsible enough to understand you in those times. It also means you can have healthy discussions every time you address negative issues. Most importantly, the foundation of your relationship is having mutual respect.
But when you’re with someone emotionally unavailable, you’ll always feel like you’re alone in your problems. It is also most likely that whenever you connect with them, they lash out on you and the problem never gets solved–and eventually, it just becomes a routine.
Often, they’ll just disregard you and your feelings, leaving you clueless of what you did wrong. You’ll question your self-worth, wondering why your partner isn’t exerting the same effort as you?
Usually, you accept this kind of treatment, defeated. In the end, it is you who feel alone, depressed, unimportant, or rejected.
You’re prone to becoming emotionally unavailable too
Because of the emotional trauma you’ve been through, there’s a chance you’ll also think that every relationship is like the one you’ve had, making you emotionally unavailable. It will change your perception of relationships as only stressful and toxic.
You may not want to risk falling in love with someone all over again and to entrust your feelings to someone who won’t even bat an eye when the going gets rough.
You may find yourself changing from the person you use to be. Relationships, at first, will make you feel butterflies in your stomach but once you’ve had your fair share of experiencing a toxic relationship, it can pollute your future relationships and change you.
You’re depriving yourself of greater things
When you’re dating an emotionally unavailable person, you’ll spend your time thinking of reasons why your relationship is like that. Before you know it, you’re depriving yourself of opportunities that you’ll end regretting later.
Having dedicated most of your time and understanding to one certain person, you’ll probably lose track of your own goals and aspirations. There would be instances when you’re too emotionally drained to attend class or a job interview. Remember, don’t give your world to someone who doesn’t appreciate you. Don’t jeopardize your life for the sake of a temporary person.
All in all, sometimes loving someone isn’t enough. No matter how you think you’re ready for a relationship but if your partner isn’t on the same page as you, don’t be afraid to walk away. Take note, before loving someone, you have to remember to take care of your well-being first. Walking away may be a hard decision, but may just be the best one for you.
Dating someone who’s emotionally unavailable won’t be good for you now or even later. Give your love to someone who is capable of reciprocating your time and effort. And if you’re having a hard time letting that someone go, just read this article again until you realize that DATING AN EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE PERSON ISN’T HEALTHY FOR YOU.