Can you relate to these zoom confessions?
Zoom meetings– either with camera on or audio-only– have become part of a remote worker’s daily life (or daily struggles). As if staying true to the 2020 brand, this new work setup has also become very prone to epic fails and disasters– some of which we only keep to ourselves when they happen.
That being said, we’ve talked to our work-from-home friends, and here is a selection of things they wouldn’t talk about to their colleagues during zoom calls either because it’s painfully embarrassing or it could cost them their jobs.
“I look like shit.”
Deborah must clock in at 9 AM, and due to bad sleeping habits that cause her to get out of bed at 8:50 in the morning, she usually gets to show up at work a few minutes before the call time. That means if there’s a mandatory online huddle scheduled at 9 AM sharp, she must be present– however ‘lutang‘ she is at the moment, and however messy she looks.
“I’m only looking at memes instead of listening.”
Home is where all the distraction is. And we call home our “comfort place” for a reason: it makes us feel safe from harm we only experience in the outside world, like a killing stare from a stranger. It’s where we can be our most real, nastiest selves.
That’s exactly how Marky feels as a work-from-home social media strategist in an advertising agency. Even if his focus should be on the zoom call as his AE discusses how their newly acquired brand wants to empower human resiliency in their latest campaign, Marky has the audacity to mind something else. Something entirely unrelated to what his teammates have been spewing out, like that Time Machine meme he’s just encountered while mindlessly scrolling through his Facebook feed.
“I pretended to have connectivity issues because I didn’t know what to say.”
Of course, it’s a meeting, so it’s expected everyone will chime in at some point over the course of the discussion. Since Johnson, a copywriter, zoned out most of the time because the topic of staying resilient amidst these difficult times failed to capture his short-as-fuck attention span (it is boring, to be fair), he’s only absorbed 10% of the information.
All of a sudden, he heard a familiar sound being uttered by his Account Executive, and he realized why it sounded familiar: it was his name! They had a question for him! And boy, he was caught on Jon Snow mode: he knew nothing.
“Johnson, are you there?” asked the AE– a clear indication that his silence had taken too long. He could have answered, “Yes, I am here,” and requested the question be repeated– coming up with an instant fix like Jimmy Neutron’s think think think in the brief moment the question was being repeated.
But he didn’t do that. Instead, Johnson waited for a couple of seconds to insinuate the notion that something unusual was going on, and then he hit the exit button. “I sent a message to my AE asking if the meeting was over, even though I waited until I was sure it was over before messaging her. I told her I suddeny lost internet connection,” Johnson confessed to us.
When you’re required to have your camera on, you should at least wear something casual for you top half while wearing just boxers. Zoom calls, however, are a different story.
Paula, a content writer, told us that they’re very rarely required to present their faces during a virtual meeting. She revealed that since her office is in her bedroom, she has attended a lot of meetings wearing only her birthday suit.
How about you? Do you have any zoom-related secrets?
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