Growing up in a culture that values family bonds, we have been raised to be followers of this cycle: get some education, be the best engineer, doctor or writer, and conquer the world– all of these while serving your parents until your last breath.
There’s nothing wrong with this. But there’s nothing wrong with not believing it, either.
Pretty big statement, huh? Some of you may be thinking: this writer is an entitled, unappreciative son. I should just stop reading this drivel before my mind gets polluted.
Hear me out, here’s why I think this should stop
If you were triggered by what you’ve read, I understand where you’re coming from.You’re probably working from nine to five, pushing yourself to earn more than double figures, and ending the day with a plan for tomorrow and for the next years to come: repeat this cycle again and again until you’re sitting with your dad on your lawn, popping Heineken, staring up admiringly at your up-and-down in some private subdivision in Quezon City.
We applaud you for that, and we wish you nothing but the best of luck.
But then, we can’t roll our eyes at those who have chosen a different direction.
Why is this a thing anyway?
In ancient times, people viewed having children as their investment. Yeap, you read that right.
Parents, typically fathers, had to do a variety of physical labor to keep their families surviving. By having offsprings, they were creating additional helping hands in their household, so they could hope for a better, easier life in the future.
Fast forward to today: despite the fact that we no longer farm our own rice in the morning and hunt wild pigs in the afternoon, our society still falls for the idea that children are supposed to provide for their parents. An old habit has carried over into modern times, even though it’s kinda pointless now if you think about it.
Being parents means being responsible
You never asked to be born; it was through your parents’ decisions (or birth control mistakes) that a smart, attractive individual such as yourself is here on earth today.
And being parents naturally comes with the responsibility of feeding the child, teaching them manners such as how to say, “Screw off,” to strangers in a non-offensive way, and looking after their well-being until they can pay their own rent and fry their own eggs.
So you don’t really owe them anything, aside from those pretty eyes.
You love your parents. They are probably your main reason for living, but it really should not be just that and hey it is also equally okay if they are not.
The point here is: We are not their extension. There is no invisible umbilical cord that ties us forever to our mothers’ heck more so to our fathers.
It’s perfectly fine to envision life as your own adventure free from any expectations to be somebody’s something.
After all, life is supposed to be explored and felt by us. We should be able to live our lives free from crushing expectations, and if we do give — give because we want to, not because we are forced to. Wouldn’t that feel better anyway?
What about you? Have you ever felt pressured into helping your family out? What can we do to help eliminate this toxic culture? Let us know your thoughts or opinions by sharing them through the comments below! Or just simply hit us up on our Facebook or Twitter account, @udouph.
U Do U is a platform and community for youthful and vibrant Filipinos to express themselves and their interests in entertainment, lifestyle, music, gaming and dance.
You Do You” is a phrase that we started using in AfterParty as we grind towards creating original and out-of-the-box ideas and content for the rest of the world to see.
We do what we do to change the game in how the Filipino local scene is perceived in both the local and global arena – that we have a vibrant local music scene and, top it all off, we have worldclass artists that are worthy of a global audience.