Don’t be lured by their supportive display. Sooner or later, they will drop their mask of niceness.
If you have experienced this kind of psychological abuse, specifically manipulating your emotions and altering reality, know that you can you recognize and stop it. We often don’t realize that it’s happening to us until we almost lose our minds in relying in to what they’re saying.
Well, in case you don’t know Gaslighting yet, think of it as a form emotional abuse. It’s a manipulation and a series distortion of reality. Let’s say someone is acting too naive and innocent about certain situation. You will hear a lot of excuses until all the blame is on you. It’s a way of destroying someone’s perspective because Gaslighters can’t bear other view points. Sometimes, their words are totally different from their actions. They will keep on denying things where a repeated pattern of gaining control to a person is happening.
But to be fair, some Gaslighters are not aware of what they are doing. Oftentimes, they just got it from the way they were raised—they are the ones who have been manipulated in the first place and who got used to their abusive parents.
Moreover, for some cases, others have that what you called ego-syntonic personality— those who believe that they are not absolutely wrong. They will just keep on refusing in acknowledging that their behavior is the problem.
So, to get out from this dangerous and dark kind of moral, we list some benefits of being mindful to recognize Gaslighting.
When we are fully present aware, it will be surely hard for Gaslighters to distract us and fall into their pit. Full awareness will help to focus and gives us wisdom in acknowledging their mistake. Through it we can say confidently that we cannot take the blame. To tell you, Gaslighters don’t like apologizing for what they have done. They will not take the responsibility of the mistakes to continually get something out of you.
More so, they are good at buttering people up. After they get what they wanted from you, they will eventually drop their masks. So, if you think their friendliness is too good to be true, learn to distance yourself somehow or still, learn to build some walls. Simply put, learn how to discern what’s real to the facade they’ve build.
Tuning our minds is also a great help in assessing what’s really happening around us. It can slow down the racing thoughts in our minds and the overwhelming emotions brought by Gaslighting. More so, don’t forget to take care of your mental health after experiencing this horrible abuse. Let yourself learn building your instincts or guts also to fully analyze the situation you’re in.
Through this you can cultivate self-trust at some point instead of drowning in their distorted reality. What’s more, know that there’s nothing wrong if you want to take a break from everything.
Don’t Fall into that Explanation Trap
Words cut too deep. So, before letting those exchanged phrases that echo in your mind, remove yourself from that toxic conversation. Like what they say, it’s good to lose the argument than the person you’re talking to. But still respond with kindness and distant yourself for awhile until that person learn how to accept his/her mistake.
Take note that clearing our minds can be a good thing to do.
I know that it’s so hard to do but let’s learn how not to engage into toxic conversations to made them realize that we don’t want to fall in their pit anymore.
Overall, this kind of situation is inevitable but don’t forget to still do good despite of everything. Also, keep in mind to not forget in letting your guard down. We can forgive them silently and continue thriving for yourself to be a better person. Because at the end of the day, we live only once in this fleeting world.