For many years, the public has been misled. We were brainwashed into believing that Juan Ponce Enrile was born on February 14, 1924. It’s actually what is still written in the records.

But we know better now.

Pilipino Star Ngayon File photo

Recently unearthed shreds of evidence suggest that this legendary Filipino politician-lawyer might have come into existence far beyond the 1920’s. While the puzzle pieces are currently not enough to form the bigger picture, our team of researchers has tried to follow the trail of evidence on the table to determine what year in the history of man was Juan Ponce Enrile really born in.

According to legends, in the late summer of 1666, a young Isaac Newton was sitting under an apple tree when a piece of fruit fell on his head, leading to his eureka moment that paved the way for the discovery of gravity. While this is considered to be one of the most important breakthroughs in human history, what scholars might have missed is the fact that there was Juan Ponce Enrile in the vicinity, initiating the event.

We found out that Juan Ponce Enrile was born way earlier than the era of the scientific revolution. The war in Mactan took place in the 1500’s.

Just when we thought the senator couldn’t get any older, we found out that he’d also been there during the development of the Great Pyramid of Giza, which was completed around 2560 BCE. As a matter of fact, there’s a quoted statement from him saying, “Ako ‘yung pumirma ng building permit sa pyramid.”

Juan Ponce Enrile had been among the people who got to walk across the Red Sea after Moses and God joined forces to split the sea into halves. Sana all.

He was also around during the Mesozoic era, where massive reptiles, dinosaurs, and other gigantic beasts roamed the earth. Rumors had it that he had a pet T-rex named Browny.

We wish we never learned about this, as this finding brings about more mysteries that man is not capable enough to solve. It turns out, Juan Ponce Enrile might be older than the universe.

What do you think is Juan Ponce Enrile’s real age? Is his lifespan even measurable at all?

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