We always thought the boys of One Direction were some of the luckiest in the world; to be able to make music with people you legitimately like and have fans fawn over you? Who wouldn’t give for that? Apparently, Liam Payne would trade it for just about anything else.

“Taken Ill”

In an interview with The Sun, the ex-One Direction member casually spoke about his bouts with the mental health issues he underwent while in the boyband. In October 2015, the boys cancelled a show in Belfast, Ireland because Payne had suddenly fallen ill. Truth is, he was having a hard time coping with his breakup with then-girlfriend Sophia Smith. He wasn’t in a good place and he let that issue get to him that day.

On top of that, Payne felt like touring wasn’t the best option for him. “I shouldn’t have been able to do as many shows as we did, if I’m honest about it, if I’m brutally honest about it.” he says, also admitting that he had to fake his smiles while on tour. Like a true professional, he managed to hide his blues and show love and appreciate for the fans that came out to see them. At the end of the day, however, he took off the mask and wallowed in his misery. 

Looking Up

Payne is aware that fans of One Direction aren’t mad about the hiatus. He explained that the boys sorely needed the time away from each other in order to “find the love for it again, rather than it just becoming a job.” Nowadays, he finds himself in a different light, embarking on a solo career and releasing a few singles. The musician brands his upcoming (and still unnamed album) as “eclectic”—something we can al look forward to hearing.

Sending you all the love, Liam! Thank you for helping us break the stigma and for opening up about your struggles with mental health issues.

Featured image from Capital FM