Rejection, what it is and why is it such a burden on both sides, YES, you’ve read it right – on both.

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Rejection to most people is the hardest hurdle they could ever come across with. And I do get the idea of why it is heart-wrenching; so to speak. As I’m writing this, I’ve currently experienced little to literally zero rejection ever (in my lifetime); so I’m possibly not the best person to talk to about this.


Err… wrong! Because of this, some might say that I’m an egoistic nutjob of some sort. In reality thou, in a nugget, this is possibly the biggest pain in the ass circumstance – I’ve ever had to face, in multiple times and in varying lengths.


How? well let me paste a true to life story I’ve come across (just to give you a bit of a background on what I’m talking about):

“When I was a freshman, my sister was in eighth grade. There was a boy in two of her periods who would ask her out every single day. (Third and seventh period, if I remember correctly.) All day during third and seventh she would repeatedly tell him no. She didn’t beat around the bush, she didn’t lie and say she was taken–she just said no.
One day, in third period, after being rejected several times, he said; “I have a gun in my locker. If you don’t say yes, I am going to shoot you in seventh.”

She refused again, but right after class she went to the principal’s office and told them what happened. They searched his locker and there was a gun in his backpack.

When he was arrested, some of my sister’s friends (some female, even) told her that she was selfish for saying no so many times. That because of her, the entire school was in jeopardy. That it wouldn’t have killed her to say yes and give it a try, but because she was so mean to him, he lost his temper. Many of her male friends said it was ‘girls like her’ that made all women seem like cock-teases.

Wouldn’t have killed her to say yes? If a man is willing to shoot someone for saying no, what happens to the poor soul who says yes? What happens the first time they disagree? What happens the first time she says she doesn’t want to have sex? That she isn’t in the mood? When they break up?”

Now then, after reading that short story, have I pointed you in the right direction of where I’m going with this? I hope so.


This isn’t something that’s rare. This isn’t something that never happens, or that a select group of men feels as if they are so entitled to women that saying no is not only the worst possible thing a woman can do but is considered a form of “defense” when they commit a crime upon them (whether it be rape or murder-as-a-reaction-towards-rejection).


There is a lot that remains to be unseen (if I put it in this specific context), so let’s just focus on the key points.


Is there a proper way to reject someone?  (Yes, definitely) Drawing from experience, I usually, I go with politeness, but apparently for some odd reason unknown to me, nowadays,

“Politeness has started to be misconstrued for flirting”

So, my question is – What are people with no interest whatsoever left to do then?


I will be honest, and mind you, I’m pointing this out to give you a bit of an idea of how I’ve sort of mastered this thing out.Just a disclaimer, I’m not saying this as a bragging right. So, basically in my 28 years of existence, I’ve had about a ton of guys asking me out (and no it isn’t as fun or as amazing as some would think) It is for me, a life sentence that I have to go through.



At times, (in all honesty) I truly question this process- them liking me (haha); I am always in shock whenever someone would express interest in pursuing me (now more so since uhh well, I am a single mom who is still legally married but separated); tells you guys about my self-confidence then eh?


But apparently, I still get asked out. Truth be told; IT IS A TOTAL PAIN IN THE ASS (sorry for the term used, but I have to point out how it is) seriously;


Do you think having a ton of men be emotionally invested/interested in you is FUN? NOOOOO! Oh, it is quite the contrary! It is quite horrible. Well, for me it is my own personal nightmare.


I find this whole experience, as an unnecessary chore for me; WHY?!


Well let us just say, that I do feel for the person, like I am aware of how hard it is to have enough courage to walk up to the person you like and confess (I am totally discounting those men who just wants hookups– basically those who irks me and are way too egoistic in their proposals); I admire and respect the ones who actually are decent enough to want to be serious with me, BUT I hate the responsibility of explaining to them that I am NOT JUST INTO THEM.


I cannot control who I like; or why…it just hits me… it is very organic; like BAM! I get this feeling that I am attracted to this man for some unknown reason. And I usually just go through with it. For those who I didn’t like. No, you did nothing wrong – it is just how it is…  and it is okay. 


I’m not a Miss Universe or the last female for that matter. It’s not like I planned out how I’m gonna have you like me.

Cause here is how it usually goes: I have to tiptoe around my words to avoid hurting them or simply to avoid removing their self-confidence and belief in themselves.


CAN YOU SEE THE STRUGGLE? it is so real!!!


BUT well, as usual; people take it against them or worst they just can’t seem to take a hint and they ended up going all super saiyan on me. Hilarious really. The worst part thou is that they will try and make you feel like you’re somewhat indebted to them for liking you, that you should be grateful for the attention and the gifts they shower you with (which I never ask EVER!) UGH totally not COOL.


Have they even considered how I feel? What I want? Do they think these impress me or that these things are what I need and long for? UHH PLEASE! Have they no heart? Too selfish; if the liking is one-sided and it was made clear; BACK OFF!


I guess what I am trying to say is this;The next time you like someone, know if that person feels the same way as soon as possible; If they DO NOT respond in times when you’ve asked them out (except work related things) do not create an imaginary rationales for why he/she said no to you; sometimes you just gotta accept that YOU ARE NOT EVERYONE’s CUP OF TEA and that it is ALRIGHT.

Never let it get you down; be proud for you have been courageous enough to admit your feelings and do something bout it; and hey at least it is over; rather than staying in limbo in fear of a NO. Rip that band-aid my friend and move on; if it isn’t for you then chill, someone better will definitely come along; so focus on you and on being the right person.

And to those who can’t? PLEASE LET GO! if they said NO; it means NO! back off and stop stalking them or making their lives miserable just cause you happen to like them. Don’t wait for the person you like to say the words below.


***You liking me is no fun nor is it a privilege…it has been a life sentence… a bad one 😂***

Leave them be and in peace. That’s it I guess. This world that is too full of options has created such self-entitled individuals. Such a sad reality for humanity.


I blame social media for the most part – I mean, there’s a positive to some like tinder eliminating that point since, well you get to be messaged by those you actually swiped right to, BUT it is still not the best tool for getting to CONNECT with someone you have an actual common interest with.


People are on there for hook-ups, and I’m not too thrilled with that idea since it basically capitalized on looks –


BUT what if only we get to have a platform where we get to have a common interest with people, like music? and go from there? Maybe just maybe we can have CONNECTIONS made from who we are as real persons, not just our filtered versions.


And, in the next coming days, I’m thrilled to say that we do have one, all happening on March 9, 2018.


Let Afterparty introduce you to people in a way that will have you connect and engage to their innermost core. Friendships will be made, real and meaningful relationships will be fostered. Thank God.


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